wandering_wind

wandering_wind @ 2007-02-25T21:07:00

2007-02-26T05:07:57Z

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Dear You, part 2

2007-01-21T06:49:01Z

Dear you,

You know who you are.

I know I don't know you very well. Hell, I don't know you at all. But I imagine you probably know me pretty well by now, because, and I hate to sound conceited, but I imagine that Sara-neechan talks about me an awful lot. She does, from what I understand.

But that's not the question here.

It appears to me that you're feeling not too hot lately. But that's okay. You're entitled. Hell, I spent most of my life feeling not too hot about a lot of little stuff and a little of a lot stuff. But this isn't a whose-misery-dick-is-bigger contest. The point is, everyone feels like crap sometimes, and sometimes it comes to happen that it's our turn, ne?

I know, I say a lot of stuff that either doesn't make sense or is completely useless. Most of what I say falls into those two categories.

But I digress.

I love that word.

You do something very important in my life that I would be very unhappy were it to stop happening.

You make neechan happy.

It wouldn't seem like this would directly affect me but it does. When neechan's happy, I'm happy. When neechan's not happy, I'm not happy. Plain and simple.

So, when you're not happy, neechan's not happy. When neechan's not happy, I'm not happy. Therefore, your happiness, even if I were an entirely selfish person, becomes important to me.

Even so, you're a not happy person and I am a not happy person because I know there is a not happy person out there who is connected to me, no matter how obscure the connection might be.

Therefore!

My conclusion is that your happiness is important to me.

But anyways.

The main purpose of this little letter was to inform you that I would like to open communications with you. Talk to you. Get to know you directly. Yes. I would.

So yeah.

Hope to hear from you soon.

Sincerely,
me

Dear You

2007-01-20T05:54:05Z

Dear you,

This means you.

I love you and your company means a lot to me. I know we don't talk as much as we did when we were younger or a year ago or a few months ago, but seeing you wonder whether or not you matter hurts. You matter. A lot. You mean the world to me.

You've grown so much in the five years and some odd months we've known each other. You've become a beautiful woman in that time and I wish there was a mirror that reflected a person the way another person sees them because it would show you just how wonderful you are to me. I don't care if you think you're a terrible person because of things you've done to other people. You're a beautiful person in my eyes.

I don't think you've ever done me wrong.

You always give the best advice and always have the best ear for listening. You have a rich soul and a kind heart.

I love you.

Don't ever wonder if you've never saved someone, or been someone's hero. Because you saved me, and you are mine.

Love,
Little sissy

I Will Survive

2007-01-09T04:03:05Z

To Whom It May Concern:

There are now many very malicious rumors going around my high school thanks to Jeff, his foster brother, and Molly's ex-boyfriend who are all friends. Here are a few of them which are not too nasty and disgusting to repeat, the truth and my opinions on them.

~I broke up with Jeff, told him I never loved him, and then slept with him the next day.

Can I even begin to say how wrong this is? First, I was already dating Will the day after I broke up with Jeff (think what you like about that) and I spent that entire day with him. Luckily, this makes it so that he knows for sure that this one isn't true, and as this one isn't true the others most likely aren't either. The part about breaking up with him is definitely true, but I never said I never loved him. To the contrary, I told him I would probably always love him. I would never have slept with him in the first place if I didn't love him, and if I didn't think he loved me.

~He broke up with me and we are no longer talking.

I broke up with him, as you all know, and at the moment, we are not talking, yes. But that's mostly because of these rumors. I had actually planned to call him the night I heard about them, but Will convinced me that that was no longer a good idea.

~I still call him every night with nightmares.

Uh, no. And I hate the fact that now, people know I have nightmares. But then, anyone who understands my situation will understand why I have nightmares.

So yeah. Those are the least disgusting of the rumors. All I can say is that if this is his way of trying to win me back, yeah. It isn't working. And if this really isn't him, then it's likely his friends and he needs to tell them to stop. Now.

And yes, I know you're probably reading this.

I was serious when I said if you don't set this right, we'll just never talk again. I'll simply tell the truth, which is much worse for you than any lies anyone could tell about me.

After all, no one will believe I could possibly force you to do anything.

My Wildest Dreamings Could Not Foresee

2006-12-19T00:20:56Z

Jeff acted so immature.

And many people may not understand. I still love him, after all...

...But I think Will is the better choice for me right now.

In other news...

...

...SQUEEEEEEEE!!!!!

[This message brought to you by zzzzzNews.]

Don't Turn Away...

2006-12-16T04:35:42Z

"Just so you know...just because I don't kiss you doesn't mean I don't want to."
"So you want to...?"
"Oh, very much so. But I have too much respect for you to do that."

I don't know what to do.

I think I'm going to cry again.

Hello Cruel World

2006-10-16T04:44:51Z

I know what I want for Christmas.

Hello Cruel World: 101 Alternatives to Suicide for Teens, Freaks, and Other Outlaws by Kate Bornstein

It's a book written by a transsexual about suicide and ways to avoid it. It's supposed to be the kind of book that helps you better yourself without putting down other people, and I want it.

Lemme know if you're going to get me this for Christmas, so that I can tell people the idea's taken and I don't get multiples.

After my suicide attempt last spring, I think I could use a little information on alternatives to suicide.

Kthxbai.

wandering_wind @ 2006-10-08T21:36:00

2006-10-09T05:42:47Z

Are you:
1. a cuddler? YES
2. a morning person? Occasionally.
3. are you a perfectionist? Fairly often.
4. an only child?: 2 brothers.
5. religious?: Never.
6. in your pajamas?: How'd you know?
7. left handed?: No.

1. last friend you saw: Sara.
2. talked to on the phone: My neni.
3. sent text: No one. Don't text.
4. message over myspace: Don't.
5: instant message: Sara-neechan.

today:
1. wore: Dark blue jeans, Fairy dust shirt, pink hoodie, and for some time, Sara's "Colors of Japan" shirt.
2. was today better than yesterday? No...Yesterday was pretty damn good.
3. is: Almost over.
4. got any plans: Hang out with Jeff tomorrow.

favorite:
1. number: 3, 8
2. color: Purple
3. season: Summer

currently:
1. missing: People
2. needing: Sleep.
3. wanting: To cuddle.

q's and a's

q: what was the first thing you did this morning?
a: called Neni.

q: last thing you ate:
a: Sour Cream and Onion Lays

q: do you have anything bothering you?
a: Yes.

q: what's the last movie you saw?:
a: Forrest Gump.

q: where is the last place you went?
a: Sara's house.

q: do you wish upon stars?
a: Occasionally.

q: are you a friendly person?:
a: Most of the time.

q: where did you sleep last night?:
a: Sadly, in my own bed.

q: what color shirt are you wearing?:
a: Puke green. And orange. (That's what color you get when you get caramel hair dye on a puke green shirt, apparently. o.o;)

q: do you have more guy or girl friends?
a: Girl.

q: when was the last time you really cried?
a: When I decided I would make Jeff break up with me.

q: what was your last thought before you went to sleep last?
a: Something about how WOW is more important than me... (I was sad last night.)

q: what are you about to do?
a: Get ready to go to bed.

q: rate life as of right now 1-10?
a: 6.7

q: if you could drink anything right this second, what would it be?
a: A Slurpee with magical pain relieving powers.

q: anything hurt on your body right now?
a: My left eye.

q: what's your favorite month?
a: Dunno.

q: what was your elementary schools mascot?
a: Which elementary school? I've had bobcats, bobcats and wizards.

q: what's your favorite bottled water?
a: None.

q: what were you doing at 9 pm last night?
a: Talking to my neni.

q: did you attend your high school prom?
a. I plan to.

q: did you go to someone else's prom?
a: I don't plan to.

q: do you prefer coffee or tea?
a: Coffee!

q: something red within 5 feet?
a: The package on some bicones.

q: ever done the electric slide?
a: I suck at it, but yes.

q: how much french do you know?
a: Bonjour.

q: ever crash a car, been in an accident?
a: No and yes.

q: do you look good in yellow?
a: Yes.

q: do you sing?
a: Yes.

q: ever sing in public?
a: All the time.

q: least favorite color?
a: Puke green.

q: ever had dippin dots?
a: Yes.

q: how many driving tickets have you had?
a: None, since I don't drive.

q: do you own your own house?
a: Nope.

q: at what age do you want to get married?
a: After college.

q: have you ever been married?
a: No.

q: how many kids do you have/want?
a: None/two or three.

q: do you like anyone right now?
a: Yes.

q: if so, then who?
a: Jeff (my neni)!

q: will anyone repost this:
a: Maybe someone other than Misha.

Myself

2006-09-02T04:26:50Z

Advanced Global Personality Test Results

Extraversion	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Stability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Orderliness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	33%
Accommodation	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Interdependence	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Intellectual	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Mystical	\|\|\|\|	16%
Artistic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Religious	\|\|	10%
Hedonism	\|\|	10%
Materialism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Narcissism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Adventurousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Work ethic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Self absorbed	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Conflict seeking	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Need to dominate	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%

Romantic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Avoidant	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Anti-authority	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Wealth	\|\|\|\|\|\|	23%
Dependency	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Change averse	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Cautiousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Individuality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Sexuality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	90%
Peter pan complex	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Physical security	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	83%
Physical Fitness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	37%
Histrionic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Paranoia	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Vanity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Hypersensitivity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Female cliche	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Now Life Begins

2006-07-19T12:03:17Z

Over the past few weeks, I've been feeling a lot better.

I can't remember the last time I was able to just be...happy. Content to live my life without fretting and getting depressed over every little thing. It's like the spiderweb veil, the bell jar over my life has finally lifted, and this time it feels like for good. It feels like I'll be this way for good.

But enough of that.

Things I Want to Say To People:

1. It is not your fault.

2. I know who likes you, and it's...

3. I know who likes you, too. :p

4. Is it weird? I'm beginning to suspect that you have...feelings for me. But I'm totally the wrong person for you.

5. It's still not your fault.

6. I miss you!

7. I want to be your friend.

8. Nope, still not your fault.

9. And no, I'm not mad at you.

10. Seriously. I'm not mad at you for anything.

11. And it's still not your fault.

And to finish off this cheerful little post, a wishlist of songs. If someone could find me these songs, I will be utterly and completely devoted to them for the rest of my life. Seriously.

Benny Mardones - Touch

Train - My Private Nation

Aerosmith - Jaded

I think that's all for now, but I found an online radio station that caters to your personal tastes -- you can tell it "yes I like it" or "no I hate it" and it's actually quite smart. It rarely plays songs I don't like. Check it out here.

(By the way... DORKY PENGUIN FTW!!!11 xD)

wandering_wind @ 2006-06-26T12:39:00

2006-06-26T19:41:24Z

I hate it when I have disturbing dreams.

I hate it, I hate it, I hate it.

And The 'Rents? What Do They Think?

2006-06-24T08:03:08Z

Do I really have to meet his parents?

I'm scared shitless. Maybe that doesn't make sense, but I really am.

Apparently he's told his whole family that we're engaged; that we're not going to marry until years from now does not seem to make a difference, as they want to meet me now. This is a total flop from my own family, who does not know at all that we are already engaged, but has already met him. That is, if you do not count my "adoptive" family; my sisters and brothers. They know, and are in various states of knowing him.

But I digress.

The point rather was that his family knows about me from what he's told, and I only hope that he hasn't built me up in their eyes to an unreachable standard. I know how doting he is, how adoring; this isn't an impossibility. And yet I've agreed to meet them, not this Sunday, but the next.

"Them" does not only include his parents. It includes one father, one mother, one older brother, two younger brothers, and an unknown number of nieces. The only ones I'm honestly worried about impressing are the father, the mother, and the older brother, as I believe they'd be the only ones to hold sway over him if they find me wanting.

Maybe I'm making a bigger deal out of this than it is. Maybe this really isn't such a huge deal after all. People meet their fiances' parents all the time, right?

I've only had to meet the parents once, and that was before she knew we were dating.

Really now.

Off topic here: I love the little penguin emote for this entry. Isn't he cute?

If The Sky Can Crack...

2006-06-22T21:44:14Z

Let's see colors that have never been seen
Let's go to places no one else has been
You're in my mind all of the time
I know that's not enough

He looks so fragile, laying there. As though I could shatter him with a word. And I know I could.

I look at him, and I love him ever more for his fragility. I wonder how anyone could ever hurt such a beautiful creature: all long legs and long arms; for all the world like a foal, just brought into this world, staggering about and looking to make his first steps.

But then I see the scars on his back, and I know he only resembles a foal.

This man has seen so much more of the world than I have. He made his first steps long before I was ever truly born, and where I was sheltered in a warm stable, he was thrown out to weather the wind, rain, sun, and snow. This is not to say he's had a worse time of it; this is only to say that where my problems came from within myself, his came from outside sources.

I will admit. I was a sheltered child. I never knew the word "gay" until I was in sixth grade, and I never understood it till seventh. I didn't learn about drugs until they taught them to us in class. Neglect was a thing I read about in books, and there was always a hero to save the day.

Then where was his hero? Why was he hurt and neglected?

I sometimes wonder. What would have happened, were I the scarred one, and he the sheltered? I have my own scars now, but what if those scars came from my childhood? What if he was always loved and protected?

I don't know.

All I know is that he is strong for having survived what he did, and yet there is fragility in his eyes.

I want to protect him. I want him to never be hurt again.

But am I strong enough?

I hurt too. I ache with the noise that has been brought upon me. But can I, despite the noise, shelter him from his?

I don't know.

But I can try.

wandering_wind @ 2006-06-21T18:10:00

2006-06-22T01:12:21Z

I want a Build-A-Bear.

I think I want either the Mocha Bunny, the Tabby, the Koala, or the Frog.

*thinks they're all wayyyy cute*

If someone wants to buy me a random present, buy me clothes for my upcoming stuffed animal!

Don't You Wish I Never Came Around

2006-06-16T04:50:54Z

Once again, once again
I am the bad guy

How did she twist this around so that it was all my fault? It's my sickness, it's my lack of communication, it's my fault none of this went right.

She always does this.

And I hate her.

All The Colors of the Rainbow

2006-06-11T04:05:08Z

<*font color="wandering_wind"> <*b>wandering_wind<*/b><*/font> =
wandering_wind

Our So-Called Family Tree

2006-05-25T03:00:45Z

Why is it that some families are breathlessly happy, but others are horrendously disfunctional?

I just don't understand how some people get all the luck.

wandering_wind @ 2006-05-22T19:09:00

2006-05-23T02:09:41Z

Not only is sissy's present sent, but Sara's necklace is made!

*can't wait to send it*

wandering_wind @ 2006-05-22T14:07:00

2006-05-22T21:09:16Z

Not only am I off to mail Misha's package, but maybe I'll be able to get something to bead Sara-neechan's necklace!

Post office and Michael's, here I come!

Not Quite Usual

2006-05-22T04:51:01Z

Once upon a time...

There was a little girl. This little girl was not quite a normal little girl. She did not want to be a little girl. She wanted to be a little boy.

There were myriad reasons why she wanted to be a little boy. One of these was that the little girl was convinced her parents did not love her. Why would they not love her, you may ask, and what does this have to do with being a little boy? Well, the little girl's parents were not very affectionate towards her and her brothers; however, she did not notice that her parents were also not affectionate with her brothers, and thought it was only her that they disliked. So she came to the incorrect conclusion that her parents would like her better if only she could become a little boy.

Another reason why she wanted to become a little boy was that she was not quite happy being a little girl. She did not like to do normal little girl things, like play with dolls and play house. She would play imagination games, but hers were more likely to include invading pirates than future husbands.

There are other things that made this little girl not quite a normal little girl. She had friends whom she spoke to, who followed her around and spoke back and played with her; however, none of the other little boys or girls could see these friends, the little girl's best friends. Their names were Lazarus and Kiera.

For years, Lazarus and Kiera were the only friends the little girl had. And even after they were not her only friends, they stayed with her, closer than anyone else would ever get to this strange little girl.

And soon, the little girl grew up into an older girl. Middle school took its toll on that innocent little girl; becoming a real girl became a challenge to her. And she met a new friend. She met the cutest little red haired girl who liked to sing, just like our girl. And this red haired girl became friends with her, real friends, as did a boy she met who was not quite a normal boy. But despite these new friends, Lazarus and Kiera stayed closest to her. She could tell them anything she could possibly want to, and they would not abandon her.

And then the girl moved away, and her only friends that could come with her were Lazarus and Kiera. But her red haired friend inadverantly followed soon after, and they grew closer. Lazarus and Kiera were trusted with the knowledge of the girl's crush on her red haired friend.

To bring a long story to a close, recently, in the past few years, Lazarus and Kiera have been joined by other friends: Kyo, Yuki, Haru, Momiji, Yunsung, and Aeil, not to mention a few others who did leave. But the ones that are left will most likely not leave.

They have also been joined by a few that are real to others as well as to her: her red haired friend, her sisters, her neni, her babe, and others who have drifted in and out of her life at different intervals.

I suppose there is no moral to this story. But just think about it next time you see a person with no friends; no one honestly wants to be without friends.

Boom Boom Boom Boom

2006-05-21T03:22:48Z

Is it really so terrible that I love more than one person?

I love four in a romantic way...but is that such a crime? Am I really such a sexual deviant?

In one month, I will probably be having threesomes. Is that so wrong? I love them both; it isn't like one is just an add-on. And I think they care for one another as well.

I've been having sex since I was sixteen with a man that is eighteen. Does that age difference really make us so terrible? Why is it that, if I were to have sex with a boy a year and a few months younger than me, it would be perfectly fine, but I'm taboo if I have sex with someone a year and a few months older than me?

Why is it correct for a man and a woman to have sex, but not a man and a man, or a woman and a woman?

Why does love have all these rules?

Love You, Hate You

2006-05-15T05:49:00Z

Things I Would Like to Say to People

-I miss you more than I should and I like you in a way that I shouldn't. But is it really so terrible? I mean, surely there are worse things than wanting someone that cares for you. And I'm sorry I lied to you; but technically I didn't lie. I was speaking hypothetically so you wouldn't realize: it wasn't Chris. It was you.

- I can't wait to see you again. I'm glad you're mine, and I'm really glad that, after about two or so years, I'll get to see you again. Just a month to go, sweetheart, and then you'll be in my arms.

- You will always be first in my romantic book, no matter who else I may care for in a romantic way. You are my neni, and that won't ever change. I love you more than anything, for always and forever.

- Keep your hands off of what's mine. I claimed her, she loves me, so do not touch her.

- I wish I could've told you I love you before you were gone.

- I'm sorry you had to see that.

- You were a first for me; a first to trust and my first sister. And you were never a stranger to me, though it may be hard to understand. The more we got to know one another, the more I felt like I'd known you before. I love you, and no matter what bad things you say about yourself, I think you're brave and strong and a very good role-model for me. <2 always.

- At first, I was so jealous of you. It felt like you were taking her from me, because all she talked about was you; it felt like she didn't care about me anymore. But then I got to know you, and I realized, of course she still cared, and now I had another person to care too. Thank you for caring about me, and taking care of me when I needed it.

I'll add more as I think of them. For now, this is it.

Love.

wandering_wind @ 2006-05-11T15:23:00

2006-05-11T22:28:06Z

How many people can one "love" before they're a whore?

Because I feel unfaithful and wrong and it hurts.

Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night

2006-04-27T22:45:13Z

I was having a lot of bad thoughts today. It was so loud, so overbearing, that I could barely stand it. I wanted to die. I wanted to rip my ears out of my head, it was so loud. I had my face buried under my blankets and was trying my hardest to hide from them, but there's no hiding from them. I was screaming every so often, "You're lying! Quit putting these thoughts in my head!" And they were terrible thoughts, terrible; images of me slicing my loved ones to shreds, of them committing suicide, of me slitting my wrists, of people lying in pools of blood, of someone using a voodoo doll against me to slowly kill me, of Jeff jumping off a bridge to die... I was crying and crying, terrified; what was I supposed to do to fight back?

The only thing I could think of was to kill myself.

So I forced other voices into my head.

"You promised you wouldn't leave me."

"I won't let you roll over and die."

"You wouldn't want to see me go that way, would you? ...What makes you think I want to see you go that way?"

"Please, please, please keep fighting them..."

"We'll beat them together."

And I knew I wasn't going to die.

I don't want to go that way. I want to be what everyone thinks I am: brave and strong. There's no failure here, sweetheart, only when you quit. Until I give up, I am still winning against them. It is the courage to continue that counts.

And besides, think of my future children. Think of the lives that will never get a chance if I die now.

Think of all the people depending on me.

And so I will rage on.

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

I Just Want You to Know Who I Am

2006-04-27T04:58:54Z

Things you may not know about me:

1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT?
I have a scar on my right

2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?
Oh, a lot of stuff. A rainbow ribbon, rainbow postcard, a piece of wrapping paper that says "happy", a "Happy Birthday" balloon (purple with music notes), a "Welcome Back" balloon (orange with stars and balloons), a skittles wrapper, three pictures from sissy, one from Jeff, one from Ashley, two from Tyler, one from Liney, two envelopes from sissy and a poem...And various other crap.

3. WHAT MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO?
Anything except (c)rap.

4. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN?
No idea.

5. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?
To cuddle with my long-distance friends.

6. WHAT DO YOU MISS?
Silence.

7. WHAT IS YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION(S)?
My photos. My computer. My various stuffed animals from various people. *loves stuffed animals*

8. DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC?
Around lots of people.

9. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK?
Never.

10. LAST PERSON WHO MADE YOU CRY?
My psychiatrist.

11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE COLOGNE / PERFUME?
I like spring rain scents...

12. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX?
I like light colored eyes, like blues and greys. Green is good too. And I like red hair best.

13. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINK?
Coffee. Or Mountain Dew.

14. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPING?
Pepperoni.

15. IF YOU CAN EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Egg rolls.

16. WHO IS THE LAST PERSON YOU MADE MAD?
My mother.

17. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST GIFT?
I don't know.

18. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?
A shirt I stole from Jeff and black pajama pants with red and orange and yellow butterflies.

19. DO YOU LIKE ANYBODY?
Many people.

20. ARE YOU DOUBLE JOINTED?
No.

21. FAVORITE CLOTHING BRAND?
Tripp.

22. WHAT'S YOUR DREAM CAR?
One that runs reliably and gets 63 mpg.

23. DO YOU HAVE A PET RIGHT NOW?
No.

24. WHAT KIND IS IT?
I don't have one.

25. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING?
Probably. I'm just hopeless that way.

26. WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU?
Telling them straight out.

27. SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED:
Eighty three.

28. BLONDES OR BRUNETTES?
Brunettes.

29. WHAT IS THE ONE NUMBER YOU CALL OFTEN?
Jeff.

30. WHAT ANNOYS YOU MOST?
Bigotry, or ignorance.

31. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF THE USA?
Canada, Germany, Austria, and France.

32. YOUR WEAKNESSES?
Sad people, red hair, pretty eyes.

33. MET ANYONE FAMOUS?
Nope.

34. FIRST JOB?
Bagger at the PX and Shoppette on base in Germany.

35. EVER DONE A PRANK CALL?
No.

36. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU FILLED OUT THIS?
Talking to Sissy and Sara-there.

37. HAVE YOU EVER HAD SURGERY?
Yes.

38. WHY DID YOU FILL OUT THIS SURVEY?
Because Sissy said I was least likely to.

39. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST?
People tell me all the time how brave I am. I'm really a coward.

40. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF ALCOHOL BECAME ILLEGAL?
Nothing. I don't drink.

41. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Weiss Kreuz mangas. Jewelry.

42. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT?
I want three: two twin girls, and a boy. (Yes, I'm really specific.)

43. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
I dunno. Maybe the painting.

44. DO YOU WISH ON STARS?
No.

45. WHAT DID YOU DO THIS MORNING?
Got up and went to choir.

46. WHAT DID YOU LAST EAT?
Mac and cheese.

47. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
Nope.

48. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Salami and pepperoni.

49. ANY BAD HABITS?
Yes.

50. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING CD ON THE SHELF?
I don't care to divulge that information.

51. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Probably not. I've got too much emotional baggage.

52. HAVE YOU EVER TOLD A SECRET YOU SWORE NOT TO TELL?
No.

53. DO LOOKS MATTER?
Sometimes.

54. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER?
Crying (rarely). Just letting it slowly seep out.

55. WHERE IS YOUR SECOND HOME?
I have none.

56. WHO IS YOUR FAMOUS/ ACTOR/ SINGER CRUSH?
Johnny Depp.

57. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD?
Various stuffed animals.

58. HOW MANY NUMBERS ARE IN YOUR CELL PHONE?
Not many. I had to switch cell phones a while back and I lost all my numbers.

59. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
No, never.

60. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A MOSH PIT?
No.

61. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY?
Sweet disposition, patience, pretty eyes (yes, I'm shallow like that.)

62. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES?
Piccolo, Twin-chan, Misha and Shelly (though I HATE that one).Things you may not know about me:

1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT?
I have a burn scar on my knee from this past summer. I stupidly put a Colman stove on my lap while trying to change the propane tank and BURNED myself. That's my scar-knee though...But I kind of enjoy it. Fact: It's the same knee Kamatari had busted by Kaoru. That's probably why I like it.

2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?
My name spelled out in butterflies, an "embrace diversity" rainbow, Furuba calendar, a few posters and a cork board full of Side B pics and other crap.

3. WHAT MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO?
Rock, mostly. Lots of Pink Floyd. U2, Bruce Springsteen and much other stuff. A mix, really, as long as there's no (c)rap.

4. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN?
3:06 AM

5. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?
To cuddle with Sara.

6. WHAT DO YOU MISS?
Being thirteen. Everything was simple then.

7. WHAT IS YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION(S)?
My Side B graphic novels, my yaoi and the picture of me and Sara in the deli.

8. DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC?
Sometimes.

9. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK?
Yeah, a lot.

10. LAST PERSON WHO MADE YOU CRY?
Crystal.

11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE COLOGNE / PERFUME?
I don't have a favorite, but I like ocean breeze/spring rain scents.

12. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX?
I like green eyes. And that REALLY bright blue color as well. Hair-wise, I like red and black.

13. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINK?
Tea. And Smartwater.

14. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPING?
Veggies or bacon or both.

15. IF YOU CAN EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Chinese food. Always.

16. WHO IS THE LAST PERSON YOU MADE MAD?
My mother.

17. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST GIFT?
My stuffed mouse. My Aunt Amy gave her to me after I was born.

18. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?
Black yoga pants, my Rurouni Kenshin tee and a big grey sweater-coat.

19. DO YOU LIKE ANYBODY?
Many people.

20. ARE YOU DOUBLE JOINTED?
No.

21. FAVORITE CLOTHING BRAND?
Old Navy.

22. WHAT'S YOUR DREAM CAR?
A vintage Volkswagon Beetle.

23. DO YOU HAVE A PET RIGHT NOW?
Yes.

24. WHAT KIND IS IT?
A cat. I'm thinking about getting a fish next year. I'm thinking about naming it Irvine. I kind of want a fish.

25. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING?
I would. It would make it far more romantic, I think, and I'm a hopeless romantic.

26. WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU?
Doing sweet things for them. Telling them works well too.

27. SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED:
13

28. BLONDES OR BRUNETTES?
Blondes.

29. WHAT IS THE ONE NUMBER YOU CALL OFTEN?
Sara or home.

30. WHAT ANNOYS YOU MOST?
People who don't tell me what I've done to hurt/anger/upset them. If I don't know, I can't improve myself.

31. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF THE USA?
Canada.

32. YOUR WEAKNESSES?
Romance, kittens, sad people.

33. MET ANYONE FAMOUS?
Neil McCoy and New York Senator Tom Libous. Senator Libous was really cool.

34. FIRST JOB?
Page at Your Home Public Library.

35. EVER DONE A PRANK CALL?
No.

36. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU FILLED OUT THIS?
Whining to Liz about being bored.

37. HAVE YOU EVER HAD SURGERY?
Nope.

38. WHY DID YOU FILL OUT THIS SURVEY?
Boredom.

39. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST?
People tell me all the time how nice I am. I'm really noy.

40. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF ALCOHOL BECAME ILLEGAL?
I wouldn't cry much. I really don't drink often.

41. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?
A sewing machine. Side B volumes 3 and 4.

42. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT?
None of my own, really. I do like playing with them though.

43. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Dad said I was named after the Beatles song "Michelle, Ma Belle."

44. DO YOU WISH ON STARS?
No.

45. WHAT DID YOU DO THIS MORNING?
Reread some old RPs.

46. WHAT DID YOU LAST EAT?
A slice of Dominos from Evie.

47. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
I love my cursive...My print fluxuates too much.

48. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Honey ham.

49. ANY BAD HABITS?
Yes.

50. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING CD ON THE SHELF?
Chumbawumba. I still listen to it too.

51. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Probably not. I'm hard to deal with.

52. HAVE YOU EVER TOLD A SECRET YOU SWORE NOT TO TELL?
Yes.

53. DO LOOKS MATTER?
I'd like to say no, but sometimes I'm shallow.

54. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER?
Crying...Yelling...Writing. Drawing too.

55. WHERE IS YOUR SECOND HOME?
Camp Amahami.

56. WHO IS YOUR FAMOUS/ ACTOR/ SINGER CRUSH?
OMG Alan Rickman *DROOL*

57. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD?
My brown Kitty Kitty Kitten.

58. HOW MANY NUMBERS ARE IN YOUR CELL PHONE?
Umm...Not a lot.

59. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
All the time.

60. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A MOSH PIT?
No.

61. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY?
Guy? Ew.

62. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES?
Cat. Kitty Cat. Sissy. Neko.

63. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR?
Mint chocolate chip.

64. WHO/WHAT DO YOU MISS MOST RIGHT NOW?
Jeff.

65. HOW MANY WISDOM TEETH DO YOU HAVE?
Zero. Got 'em pulled when I was fifteen.

66. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?
If they feel like it.

67. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO?
Wonderwall, by Oasis, on a mix CD I made.

68. LAST THING YOU DRANK?
Sobe Strawberry Daquiri.

69. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
Jeff.

70. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Whether or not they have pretty eyes.

71. FAVORITE THOUGHT PROVOKING SONG?
The Quiet Place by In Flames, and Precious by Depeche Mode.

72. FAVORITE THING TO HATE?
Ignorant people.

73. FAVORITE DRINK(S) ?
Strawberry daquiri (non-alcoholic) and Mountain Dew Code Red.

74. FAVORITE ZODIAC SIGN?
Gemini.

75. Favorite Sport?
None. Ick.

76. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR?
Dark brown.

77. EYE COLOR?
Brown.

78. HEIGHT?
5’3 1/2"

79. SIBLINGS?
Two brothers. I'm in the middle.

80. FAVORITE MONTH?
June.

81. YOU LIKE SUSHI?
Yes.

82. LAST THING YOU WATCHED?
A little bit of Criminal Minds.

83. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR?
My birthday.

84. ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT?
Sometimes.

85. KISSES OR HUGS?
I like both...

86. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS?
Relationships.

87. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT?
A bouquet of daisies and a Sobe.

88. WHO IS THE LEAST LIKELY TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?
Misha (she already did them. I stole them from her.)

89. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING?
The Nerd Who Loved Me.

90. ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH ANYONE?
Yes.